May 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

A dirty mouth hides itself well behind 

beautiful lips and an endearing smile. 

And suddenly I notice how difficult it is, 

not to give all of my trust to such clear 

and honest eyes as his.

Cracking smirks along side his fingers, I take notice 

to his hands, exquisitely crafted and well trained.

As they glide along top of the strings, I hear them

speak words they never said; whispers that

I can’t believe so soon as this.

Such gentle things, as covered in honey,

could never hurt. never grip too hard. never

direct one wrongly, or 


And I have to remind myself,

maybe they would.

Maybe they do.

twenty first.

May 22, 2013 § Leave a comment

A slight chill on sun kissed shoulders

creeps up into your spine and grabs

hold, leaving you tingling; you look beautiful, though,

so you don’t mind it.

The salt keeps inching it’s way closer and

closer to your scalp with the help of the

wind; it’s friend. And suddenly,

you wish you could be friends like that with the wind

as the water is. 

Your tongue is sweet with strawberries

and vodka, and your lips are pink with laughter. 

Tight skin makes it hard to smile, and the salt from your

tears burn the corners of your eyes, but it’s a 

wonderful pain.

This is your happiness.

This tight, burning, sticky, tingling color is your favorite. 

This is the first time you’ve been out without your hair falling

down your back, and you miss it; but you’re

older now, and this is an aged you. Surrounded by people

you didn’t know three years ago, except the one.

and you hope he never leaves.

May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

I’m me when I’m with you,

And i miss me.

May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

It was always a game that I loved playing,

to see if i could keep your hands from shaking.




May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

The softest words i’ve ever been told.

The softest lips mine have ever touched.

The softest skin i’ve ever felt.

The softest heart i’ve ever held.

The softest eyes i’ve ever searched.

The softest soul, the only soul, i’ve 

ever blended into.


his kisses are warmer than the 


his person, more comfortable than 




Pieced together.

May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

I’m never more myself in truth and fullness

than when i’m with you.

God has created for me a piece to complete me.

a person that, until I am unified with,

I am not yet the whole ministry He

created me to be.

You can tell when you see your other

piece. When you know, you know.


And you knew.

And I knew.


and we still know.

Leaf Poem.

May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

It wasn’t on my pillow, or underneath my sheets.

It wasn’t on the blank pages, to which i would retreat.

Not even in poetic words I’d write or find on shelves.


It wasn’t until I found you, that I found myself.




May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

Physically, it cannot be matched, only manifested;

for it’s not the act that concretes the feeling, but the emotion itself that can cause the act.

For the first time, I am constantly aware of the clothes on my body. 

They itch, they gather, they’re hot, uncomfortable.

I feel constricted, confined, enclosed.

I can’t breathe, I can only wait until that moment when I can close 

the door and rip out of them, toss them away from me.

I miss exposure. I miss nakedness. I miss vulnerability and openness. 

The only thing I can fathom is that

my body understands no better way to cope

with the emotional yearning than to express it




May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

To be completely naked with someone.


utterly, vulnerably transparent. 

It’s not the physicality of the person that you miss, it’s the equalled exposure.

It’s having been able to truly be

in your purest form of yourself; so

effortlessly with the other person,

that when you find yourself now alone,

you can’t recreate it.

It’s a selfish desire; an inwardly directed yearning,

because after five months, it’s not the man you miss anymore,


it’s the nakedness.



May 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

trapped inside of my body.

my mind is a 

blank sheet of paper.

not a line.

not a word.

not a stain.

it’s as if someone came in while i was 

asleep and

turned off my thoughts,

flipped my switch.

took away memories, took away


took away any knowledge of

the future.

i only think of each word as i

write it.

no direction, no past.

just white. just

space. emptiness.


not even enough thought to fear

that i may be 



             my mind.

There is no peace in this silence.

there is no freedom from thought.

this is a mental trap.


nothing registers.

i don’t hear things people say.

Where Am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for May, 2013 at courtney renae eleanor.